I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
