Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
