i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
