Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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