well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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