He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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