This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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