During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We are all done wearing pants today
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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