She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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