my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
