Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
