Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I want is dick and wine.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
