don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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