babies were throwing up all over the place
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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