Im at strip club and am horny
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So much rum. So many feels.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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