Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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