you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
