I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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