Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
