I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
