ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
