Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
