She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
