Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize