these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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