Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
