my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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