I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize