Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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