Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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