i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
