Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
