ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
In America we eat man semen.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
