im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
love makes seman taste better
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
