there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
