Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
