it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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