So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize