Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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