He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize