i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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