At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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