how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
