yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
