I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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