Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
