Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
