i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize