I want to stick my p in your. b.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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