I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
