i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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