we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
