his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
