Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
