Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
