guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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