called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
