he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
