I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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