I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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