Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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