The maid of honor just puked.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
