She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
