Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
