dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We left the knife in your bed.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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