I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize