Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
