hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
