I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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