girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
