Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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